I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
I need water and some morals
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Randomize
