I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
