things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I want a musical about memes.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
