Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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