On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Randomize
