And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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