no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Randomize
