I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Randomize
