she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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