I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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