I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Randomize
