Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
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