Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Randomize
