So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Randomize
