his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
