it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Randomize
