Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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