Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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