i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
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