She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Well I just put wine in my tea
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
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