Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
