He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
