Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
