I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
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