How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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