wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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