she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Drake has all the answers
Randomize
