Sponge bath it is.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize