So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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