I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
