I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
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