I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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