Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Quick, to the slutcave!
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Randomize
