on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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