i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
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