and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
