I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
