I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
