so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
