you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Randomize
