end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
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9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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