I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
