yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
