Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
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