why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
