hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Also, beer. Big fan.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Randomize
