We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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