We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
The beer is more important than you right now.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
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I slept with him to see his dog one last time
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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