How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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