bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
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I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
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Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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