There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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