Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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