You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
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