the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
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