Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
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