I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Randomize
