She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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