You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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