Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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