That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
