its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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