This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
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