your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
