why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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