On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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