there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
